So many things to be thankful for, starting with God.

It has been 3 months since my last blog. There has been this thing called life going on. I will excitedly tell you all about what has been happening. You might want to stop here and get a cup of coffee, this is kind of long.

     The last mention of our search for a new church was in my blog "God is working on me daily and I love it!!" Soon after that blog our family joined Doorway Baptist Church. We are all so happy to be here, learning under Dr. Beck, and just being surrounded by Christians who are living and loving like the Bible speaks of. We have found what I had been missing since the day we left Faith Assembly. We were quickly welcomed into this amazing church family, and know God has a plan for both the church and our family. We love serving people and just being a part of a church that really wants to grow and share the gospel. There are so many ministries and events to be a part of. Mateo's Sunday school class has sponsored the local Fire Station. They take pizza once a month, and do things in between to reach out to them. Our Sunday school class had the opportunity to volunteer serve in the concession stand at the Fort Dorchester High School football games every other week. The other young adults Sunday school class has taken on My Sisters House, which is a shelter for women to be free from abuse. This class has taken up donations for the needed toiletries and also volunteered to repair and clean up their facility. The Women's Ministry has met on several occasions to sew pillow cases for both the deployed military and for the kids at MUSC Children's Hospital. Our newest and most recent outreach was the Chops for Cops dinner. Dishes were provided and served by the members of the church for the North Charleston Police Department. There are so many more ministries, I mention these because I have had the pleasure of taking part in these events in the last few months and they have all been very humbling. It is amazing to see the members pouring out God's love into our community, I am so happy God placed us here.
      My journey with reading and studying God's Word continues daily. I started January of this year on a 90 day journey to read my Bible front to back. Well, this didn't happen. I soon realized after the first month that as a fairly new Christian this goal was unachievable for me. I couldn't understand and put into practice everything I was reading if I just read through it without taking the time to study and ask questions. I am now in Luke, leaving me with 24 books to read after this is complete. I have to say though, after lots of prayer, and taking away the pressure of completing the 90 day challenge, the Holy Spirit is revealing so much to me that I would have missed if I were still just reading to complete it in 90 days. Over this last year I have tried to have my Bible time at different times of the day, but I have found getting up 30 minutes before everyone in our house and having that alone time with God, is what starts my day off right. I noticed when I did this in the evening before bed my day just wasn't right. Plus if I was super tired or had a bad day, I would neglect my nightly readings because I just wanted to go to bed. If I have learned anything from this Bible study time it is that when I put God first everything else just seems to flow. He gives me the tools to get through each day, and I am not sure how I lived before.

     Now to talk about my husband, David. For those that don't know he has been in school at CSU full time since we got married and also working full time in the evenings for the US Air Force. He will be done with his bachelors this December and graduating at the beginning of next year. I couldn't be more proud of everything he does. Not only does he take the time to pray with me in the mornings, he goes to school, then work, and most evenings manages to still come home to eat dinner with the family. On days he is exhausted he still finds that last little bit of energy to play baseball outside with Mateo. My husband has always been a sarcastic, honest, and funny man. He keeps the humor going in our house. After he read a facebook post from his friend yesterday morning before church he comes to me while I am getting ready and says "Girl are you a biblical method of baptism because I'm immersed in your beauty?" I just looked at him and asked "where did you read that?" He then told me where he got it from. This was almost as memorable as the first pick up line a guy ever used on me. "Are you from Tennesee??" My response: no, why? "Because you are the only ten I see." On to the next bit of humor. David has been off from work for a week, he gets excited being off work for many reasons but one being he doesn't have to shave. hahahaha the little things in life that we look forward to. Today he returns to work and in celebration of "Movember" and not wanting to shave his week long facial hair, this picture tells all of how he looked when he came downstairs leaving for work. We all laughed.Yes, he did leave the house like this. I explained that if I go into labor I have a razor in my hospital bag and he can shave this off at the hospital before we take any pictures. Oh how God has truly blessed me with this man. He is a great husband, amazing father, and on days I am not wanting to laugh he finds a way to make it happen.

     Mateo, is another blessing in my life. I currently am homeschooling him in Pre-K. Some weeks we do school 5 days, but do to "life" and him learning Pre-K most weeks it is 3-4 days a week. I really enjoy this opportunity for so many reasons. I was struggling before with someone else basically raising him while I worked, and then I was there to feed him breakfast, dinner, bath time, and bed time. Now we learn together, play together, go on other play dates, lunch dates, and field trips. People ask me all the time if I will continue to home school in the future. We have every intent to continue while we are here in Charleston, and might revisit the idea when we move to another state. We might look into a few other curriculum's to make sure this is what's best for Mateo. He is so smart and I really enjoy each milestone he reaches when he finally gets something that was really hard the week before. Mateo has one of the kindest hearts of anyone that I know. He tells me how beautiful I am all the time. He requests and even tries to pick out a dress for me to wear to church on Sundays, since he thinks I am more beautiful with a dress on. He is a great helper, especially at the grocery store. He loves pushing the cart, ringing everything up at self check-out, and then even swiping my card. He says he will help with Jacoby when he comes, but will not be changing any dirty diapers. His favorite thing to do outside lately has been learning how to play baseball with David. He is super excited about starting T-Ball next season. This little boy tugs at my heart strings daily and there are few nights that it is easy to tuck him in and run out of his room. We both linger at bed time, and I enjoy every second of it.

Danielle is another blessing in my life. For those that don't know she is my step-daughter. She is a beautiful, smart, and very strong willed 7 year old. She is living with her mom in Arizona but she stayed with us for a year up until this last May. During the time she was with us I learned so much about being a parent, having patience, and my trust in God. There are days that I couldn't handle being a parent and would call David crying after the kids were in bed. There were days that we all laughed so hard Mateo would get the hiccups. She received A Honor Roll the entire school year for 1st grade. I know this was such a transition for her to stay with us. She went from having her mom to herself everyday, going to church sporadically, having very little discipline, and being more of a friend to her mom than a daughter, to a life with us here in Charleston with us. She then had to share her dad with Mateo and I. She was introduced to routines, and having to pick up after herself. She went to a Christian school, church on Sunday mornings, and any other time we could be there. She was forced to tell the truth and held accountable for her actions. So many changes for one little girl in such a short period of time. We definitely had more good days than bad, and we all truly miss her, and talk to her as much as we can throughout the week. But when she left it left a hole in each of our hearts. While she was here her favorite thing to do was sing, she would sing anywhere anytime, and loud enough for all to hear. We taught her how to ride her bike without training wheels, and that is a memory we will carry with us forever. She just got done with basketball season, and I am pretty sure scored points in each game. This picture is one of the most recent ones we've received. It's from Halloween and shows her first 2 teeth that have fallen out.

     Jacoby, whom isn't quite here yet, has changed all of our lives forever. I have had a really good pregnancy, can't complain about much (except how nauseous I was in the 1st Trimester or how tired I am now in the 3rd Trimester). I am on the home stretch with 2 weeks to go until the actual due date of December 3rd. He has been a little more active than Mateo, I don't think he sleeps much inside my belly. I haven't had any heart burn which is great since I had it everyday with Mateo. This pregnancy I exercised pretty regularly up until the last 2 months or so. It has become slightly uncomfortable, and I felt it was probably better for baby and myself to take an easy until he arrives. We are all excited to meet this bundle of joy.

     With all that has gone on in the last year of our lives, I would have to say one of my favorite things to do in my "spare time" is read a good book. Spare time is currently defined as after Mateo goes to bed, while David is working, or when David is in between school and work and relieves me of my motherly duties for a few hours. Some ladies and myself from Doorway just completed the James Women's Bible Study by Beth Moore. It was so great and the fellowship of the women I studied with made it even better. Then I read The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. This was such an amazing book. If you aren't quite sure how to pray for your husband, this book has a prayer at the end of each chapter and it is a great way to get started praying for him until you are comfortable. Then I read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book was great, not because either myself or David doesn't know the other, but just to see how different we are and what we can each do to make the lives of our spouses much easier. Then I read What Happens When Women Say Yes to God, by Lysa Terkeurst. She is an amazing woman and I have just be drawn in to reading her books. I like that as a mom, she is very transparent. She doesn't tell you how to deal with certain situations, she is just telling her life stories, how she dealt with them, and how to rely on God and not ourselves to get through the trials. Since completing this book, I have purchased a few more of her books. One is The bathtub is overflowing but I feel drained, how to defeat mommy stress. I have only finished the first 2 chapters, but I have never laughed out loud while reading a book. I laugh not at her stories or long hard days, but I can relate to each of her stories. She says things that many women have gone through or will go through and don't talk about it. I will be putting off finishing this book until after reading Unglued. Myself and 3 other girlfriends (who just happen to also be military wives with children) have decided to start a virtual book reading together. The first book we are reading is Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst. We are setting a pace for a few chapters a week, and will just share how we can relate or things we really liked or disliked about each chapter. I truly love reading now, and since it is so enjoyable I make sure I have this time for myself. If you are thinking that you don't have time to read, I am sure there are slight changes that can be made in your life to open up some availability to read. Don't watch that favorite show on T.V. every night. Take a book and read while you are soaking in the tub. Read on your lunch break, or get to work 30 minutes early. I used to be such a slow reader, but now I can't put books down.  
    Over the last few months, God has brought our family closer together. My prayer life has been strengthened both individually and with David. He has given us such an amazing church family and we truly are so blessed to have each person in our lives. He has given us the continuous desire to want serve and learn all about Him. He has placed people in our paths at just the right times to get us through trying times. God has placed us in a church with an amazing Pastor that is more interested in us knowing the truth than he is worried about hurting our feelings. Dr. Beck has had and I am sure will continue to have such an impact on both David and my life. He is someone we can look up to as a man of God, husband, father, mentor, and a brutally honest friend. My favorite thing is on Sunday nights while he is teaching, I always learn at least one new word that can't be found in the dictionary.
     Here is to the next chapter of our lives starting, we will be going from a family of 4 to a family of 5 within the next 2 weeks. I feel so blessed that God saved me from the life I was living. I love to serve people. I pray that God will continue to use me as He sees fit. I pray that God will continue to put people in my path that can help me grow as a child of God, a wife, mother, and friend. So excited to see what He has planned for myself and our family.

     
    

How do you treat others?

Do you treat people how you want to be treated? Which is purely selfish. Or do you treat people the way God would treat people?

          This past Sunday’s sermon was about Living the Life of Real Faith; A true Christian having the right attitude. This was another great message. It made me think about personal situations in my life and how I felt judged or sadly how I have judged others. One of the main points in this sermon was to see people as God sees them. My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others? For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, "You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor"-well, doesn't this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives? Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn't God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren't they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him? But you dishonor the poor! Isn't it the rich who oppress you and drag you into court? Aren't they the ones who slander Jesus Christ, whose noble name you bear? (James 2;1-7)

          How many times have you looked at someone’s clothes, or could smell the strong odor coming from them and thought to yourself “they really need to shower?” What do you think God would do if this person were in front of Him? Do you think He would run as far and fast as He could? Or do you think He would treat them with the respect they deserve, and take time to talk or maybe even just listen to this person. Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law (James 2:8-9). What if this person isn't saved and you completely brushed them off because of their smell or clothes? You could be the only Bible that person ever reads. Open your arms, welcome conversation, if you are lucky you will get to hear their story and be able to offer help if they need it. This makes me think about one Sunday when David and I were at Faith. There was a gentlemen, early 30’s, visiting the church. He had what appeared to be all that he owned next to him in the pew. I didn't notice him until the end of service when he went to the front to pray during the altar call. After service, Pastor came up to David and asked him if he didn't mind if the gentlemen stayed with him for just one night. Pastor knew David had his own place and most likely wouldn't mind. So we left church, went and picked up a few things from the store, went to David’s apartment and cooked him lunch. We asked him what else we could do for him and he said just find a shelter for him. I went to my storage unit and retrieved a sleeping bag for him, while David called around looking for a shelter that wasn't booked. He didn't end up staying the night. After lunch we drove him to the shelter downtown as he requested. When Pastor came up to David and asked him to do this, David could have immediately looked at the gentlemen with his stuff in tow and said no, but he didn't.

          How many times have you been in the checkout line at the grocery store and got behind someone who has WIC (Women, Infant, and Children) vouchers, or possibly an EBT card? Did you look them over, stare at the IPhone that they were holding or the Coach purse on their shoulder and think to yourself, “if this person wasn't buying these materialistic things they could probably afford food for their family?” I have been in line and seen the looks people get when using WIC or an EBT card. I have also been on the other side of this when I was a single mom. I was a single mom for almost a year ½ before I met David. I didn't receive any child support and prior to having Mateo had a very well paying job. After I had him money got tight. Someone mentioned state assistance to me, which I had no idea what they were talking about. Once I did my research online and realized I could qualify I went in to the office to get more information. This was one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever had to do. I am sitting in this room with many other moms and a lot of screaming children, just hoping that no one I know sees me there. For those that don’t know, WIC only covers things like formula, baby food, milk, cheese, cereal, bread, and tuna. But for a single mom this can take such a huge burden off. I was on it for about a year until David and I got married and I no longer needed it. But, I know that every time I would go to the store to use the vouchers it was so embarrassing. Because, I know people make assumptions and have no idea what my situation was at that time. They just see someone on WIC and think that person is abusing the system. When I see these moms in line at the store, and see them using an expensive phone, or carrying a flashy purse, I can't judge them. It is a possibility these items were gifts. Even if we feel a certain way, is there anything that can be done to know if they are truly in need of assistance or if they are abusing the system? No, say a prayer for that person and her child or children and hope that these services get them through that time in their life where they needed the help. 

          How many times have you been the person a the gym working out and have seen someone that is a little over weight and really struggling with the proper use of equipment or see them trying to run on the treadmill and they have no running form and thought to yourself, "I wonder if they know how they look?" Going to the gym for some people can be such a daily struggle. Issues like weight, lack of knowledge using the equipment, and even fear of being judged stop some from working out until they have some sort of encouragement. Those of you that know me know that I love to work out. Before I became pregnant I would get up a 4:30a.m. Monday through Friday to be at the gym by 5. I sometimes see people staring at equipment, looking at it up and down, trying to read the summarized directions, looking at the diagrams, and trying to figure out how to adjust the weights or the seat. A few years ago, I was the person that didn't do anything but stare and continue on with my workout. I can say that since being saved a little over two years ago there isn't a day that goes by when I am in the gym that I don't take the time to help or acknowledge people. Even if I only have an hour for my workout, I still stop. When I see someone sitting on a machine and staring at it, maybe hoping it will do the workout for them, I just walk by and ask if they need any help. Some might think this can be offensive, especially if you don't know if it is their first time in a gym or if they go everyday and are just trying out a new piece of equipment. But, noticing that person and taking time to acknowledge them might just give them that boost to feel like they can ask for help when they need it. When I am running a 5k or 10k race and hear someone mention that it is their first race, I have realized that my time isn't important but hanging back behind that person and just encouraging them has been such a greater accomplishment. I have done this twice. Both times the people didn't know I could have ran faster, I didn't make it obvious. I just relaxed and when I saw them start to struggle or begin to walk I offered words of encouragement and offered to pace with them for motivation. Both times, at the end of the races, the people smiled and thanked me for the support. 
          We tend to be real quick to judge people on the outside, I myself included. Instead we should be seeing people how God sees them. Pastor made a few good points that I just have to share. God saved you for His glory and to use you to bring others to the kingdom of God. Your light should always be shining brightly. Quit looking down on people, open your heart, share your testimony any chance you get, and let them know that you too were once living a life without God. He also said that we should give the love that has been given to us to someone else; go love on people. Imagine how different your day would end if instead of making selfish decisions throughout the day you were going out of your way to just be kind and helpful to others. There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you (James 2:13).

God is working on me daily and I love it!!

So it has been almost 3 months since my last blog. David blogged a month and a half ago “Casting Lots for a Church Family”, he spoke about our decision to leave our current church and begin a journey to find one that we can call our church home. So far we have visited 4 churches. I am extremely happy to say that I can see God working on us through this journey.

When we first talked about leaving Faith Assembly I was extremely against small churches. Mainly because Faith was all I knew, that was where I obtained salvation, and it consisted of a couple thousand members. While on this journey we have visited both big and small churches. After just 2 months, my eyes and heart have been opened up to the idea of serving God in a small church. My biggest fear through this whole thing was that I would never hear the Word of God from any other Pastor like I did from Pastor Larry. But in reality, I am not sure I was giving anyone else a fair chance. On this journey, one of the smaller churches that we visited consisted of about 100 members. Walking into this church I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit like I could at Faith. I was so excited. The people were so welcoming, and it felt like a close family. Visiting this church was one of the best things that could have happened to me. After many conversations with David, and hours of prayer, my views on what I wanted in a church have changed, and I believe this is the switch from what I want to what God wants for me. I had to stop holding on to the fear that no other church would be as good as Faith, and realize that I am here to serve God. Big church or small church we are still on our journey.

Over the last few months this journey has been a daily discussion between David and I. David’s goals once he completes his Bachelors this December is to attend Seminary online while continuing his career in the Air Force. He will work his way into ministry and if it’s Gods will then he will become a Pastor one day. His calling into ministry is not my calling but this plays a part in the church that we pick. Even though becoming a Pastor may not be my calling, God has blessed me with other gifts which will allow me to serve with my husband. I mention David’s goals because on the list of what we are looking for in a church it does include searching for church home that David will be able to one day teach at. Since this is his calling I definitely want to be by his side and find somewhere that his gift can be put to use.

This past Sunday was an exceptional day. We are on week two at one of our church visits. I have to say that I have not heard the Word of God like I did today since we left Faith. The message was about Living the Life in Real Faith. The Pastor asked some very thought provoking questions, and I just smiled thinking about how God is working on me daily on just these very things. A few of the questions that were asked:  If someone cut you, would you bleed the Bible? Is your Bible just an accessory? Do you live in the Word of God daily? I think about my life and these questions and know that I am nowhere near perfect and have a lot of work to still be done in me. With that being said, how will I grow if I am not in the word daily?

A lot of people read the Bible but don’t hear the words. Receiving the Word is so important, if you don’t receive the Word your life will not ever change. The first bullet point was that the Bible will challenge you. My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires (James 1:19-20). The second bullet point was that the Bible humbles you. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you (James 1:21a). The third bullet point was the Bible grows you. Which can save you (James 1:21b). I am not sure about any of you reading this but I know there are times that I forget to apply these passages to my life. Someone says something that you immediately take offense to and you want to respond in a not so kind way. But as God changes us we learn patience so we can actually think about the statement. Some people take minutes to come back with a sincere response, some repay evil for evil, some take a few hours or even days and realize that what they said can only be offensive if we allow it to be.

Once we receive the Word, I believe it comes naturally to want to reveal the Word. For me, since the moment God saved me, I have wanted to share my testimony and how He is working in my life any chance that I get. I can’t not talk about Him. My life changed drastically and it completely revolves around studying the Word of God daily, and applying it to my life. The first bullet point in this section was that you will prove your faith. But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in the mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it (James 1:22-25). The second bullet point was you will promote your faith. If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress (James 1:26-27a). The third bullet point was you will protect your faith. Refusing to let the world corrupt you (James 1:27b). I have seen so many claims to be a Christian, because of their Sunday school attendance, or because they grew up going to church, or because they own a Bible and carry it with them on Sundays. I know that I don’t know ones heart, only God does. This is where actions speak louder than words. If you say you are a Christian, be happy everyday that God saved you out of this sinful world. Share your testimony any chance you may get, you never know who you will be planting a seed for. Allow God to work through you to save more souls. Even the person sitting next to you at church, that you see every Sunday but don’t even know their name, they deserve to hear your testimony just like the person sitting next to you at the park or coffee shop. I realize not everyone is like me and can just start up a conversation with a complete stranger. But, those of you reading this that are saved, can you imagine what your life would be like if that seed was never planted for you? Everything about my life if so much better since God saved me. David planted the seed for me and I thank God everyday for everything that He has done in my life.

Something that David and I often talk about during this journey is that without one another’s prayers and support we wouldn't have stayed strong on our walk. There are so many outside influences and we could have gone astray at any second. The Pastor also made the statement, “If your faith isn't changing your actions, rethink your faith.” Man if these questions and statements that I heard during this sermon weren't a slap in the face to reevaluate my faith I don’t know what would be.

This journey has been a very emotional one. Scary not having a church home, exciting to meet and worship with God’s children, and nerve racking while we ponder after each visit if this is where God will use us. We are both so anxious and excited to be able to serve God in what we can call our church home and to start living life with our sisters and brothers in Christ again.  I know that God will continue to change me daily, and I am excited to see what he has in store for our family. Thank you God for using your children to share the Word, I hope others were impacted by this sermon like I was.

I am human.....

It has been almost a month since my last blog, with the exception of posting my testimony. This past month has been very tiring, emotionally draining, and I haven’t had much to say to anyone unless it was negative. My month started off by Danielle’s mom showing up out of the blue, after receiving an anonymous call from what we now know is a family member, stating false accusations about myself physically abusing Danielle. This one thing alone tore me to pieces. There were more accusations from that day about me pulling my gun and attempting to hit her mom with my car. These accusations just added to my pain and broken heart. By the end of that day Danielle had to go back to Arizona with her mom and I wasn't allowed to see her off how her little heart deserved. I didn't sleep for several nights after this incident. I ended up in the emergency room with an upper respiratory infection and bronchitis.

A few days later, David received a call from Family Advocacy with the Air Force. They stated that David and I would have an appointment with them the following week, but didn't state what about. We truly thought it was the Air Force just trying to be proactive in getting our family counseling if we needed it. We show up to the appointment to find out the real reason we were there. There was an anonymous call put into DSS stating that I poured liquid soap down both kids’ throats and made them swallow it. Now my already broken heart is just getting pounded in the ground. This is so hurtful and sickening to hear. Why would someone do this to me? Why would someone think it is ok to lie? This is something that not only can make me lose my kids, but could affect David’s career in the Air Force. At this meeting we answer a lot of questions both on paper and in a face to face conference. We were then informed that DSS would have to talk with us as well. Both Family Advocacy with the Air Force and DSS will open a case on us, do their own investigating, compare stories, and then we will have a hearing in June.

For the first week after this all happened I was trying to play out each scenario both good and bad. I thought for many hours about what would happen, what could happen, and what actually is happening. These events truly make me miss my past church family. This will lead us into the rest of my month.

I was saved at Faith Assembly in the summer of 2011. Since that day I was always surrounded by such peace, joy, love, new friendships, great midweek Bible studies, Sermons on Sunday mornings, and classes to further your education about God on Sunday evenings. I don’t feel much of this right now. I am definitely not saying I don’t feel the presence of God or the Holy Spirit. I am saying I don’t feel that camaraderie right now. I don’t have that midweek Bible Study. For those of you that have never had this, oh my, you don’t know what you are missing. This isn't just a Bible Study; this is an extension to your church and family. These people know you, and you know them. They pray at the beginning and end of our time together, and never hesitate to pick up the phone to check on you throughout the week. These people opened their homes up to anyone. I remember the first time David asked me if I would like to go to a life group with him one Wednesday, I said sure and later felt very overwhelmed. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if people were going to judge me because I couldn't answer questions about the Bible or God. I will say this, being that I was a very new Christian, I was extremely nervous walking in, but have never felt that kind of immediate love from a group of people.

Things in my life started changing about 2 weeks ago. I am still studying God’s word daily. I am still keeping up my duties as both wife and mother. But I started to realize something is missing. I am becoming more selfish than I have been in the last two years. I am unable to please. Everything that people say to me, I take wrong, get offended, or just don’t even want to listen to. I have been short, judgmental, unloving, angry, bitter, opened my ears for gossip, and even at times jealous. These are things that I haven’t felt since I became Christian 2 years ago. I can’t pinpoint one thing, one person, or one event that has brought me here today. I do know that God has been with me even through all of this. I pray long and hard that God will forgive me. I have never claimed to be the perfect wife, mother, friend, Christian, or neighbor. I do know that as a Christian I am being watched by others and held to a different standard. I feel I have slipped away from so much, and that is where the devil creeps in. I have said things I later wish I could take back. I have been hurtful to some people that I am closest to. I haven't been as close with God like I know I want to be. Tomorrow is a new day, I will continue to study God’s word, and focus on those areas that I am weak.

What the Bible says about my weaknesses:

*Being Judgmental:

¹“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Matthew 7:1-5

*Being Unloving:

They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good.

2 Timothy 3:3

*Being Angry:

¹⁹Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. ²⁰Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

James 2:19-20

*Being bitter:

Therefore I will not refrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.

Job 7:11

*Gossip:

Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.

Proverbs 26:20

*Jealous

But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying.

James 3:14

My Testimony (Allison)

     I didn’t grow up in a church. My family occasionally attended church on the military base on Sunday mornings. I never heard my family speak of Jesus or try and teach me anything about our God and how great He is. I would attend friends’ youth groups on Wednesday nights at several different churches. My journey began in the beginning of 2011. I was single, looking to meet a good guy, a mother of a then 1 ½ year old beautiful boy named Mateo, was living with friends, and had a steady job.

     I was browsing the online dating sites for men; it was almost like going into a restaurant: you read the descriptions, hope their pictures are recent and real, and then choose who you think would be the best match for you. You send out a message and hope that you get a response. I met David; according to his profile, we had a lot in common. We sent emails back and forth for a few days, and then we decided to meet. My son had gone to my parents in Florida that weekend.

     Our first date was on Friday April 22, 2011. We went to the River dog’s baseball game, had a few beers, lots of great conversation, and then went to eat at Pita Pit - which by the way, that was one of my favorite places to grab food when I was downtown, and this was the place he suggested - I thought, wow this guy is great!! After eating we went to a local dance club, had another drink and danced the night away. I had the best first date that I had ever had. I thought, “This guy is perfect.” We continued to hang out through the weekend. Saturday, we grilled out and spent the day by the pool.

Then came the question: he asked me to go to Church for Easter Service the next day. I said sure; I didn’t have my son, and wasn’t currently attending church anywhere. He said the Pastor said everyone should try to bring a friend, and he did just that. I really enjoyed the service and thought I would continue to attend church there. I even started volunteering in the nursery once a month. Well after about 2 weeks I got a phone call from David saying this just wasn’t working out; I even remember him saying that he can’t control his fleshly desires. At the time, I had no idea what went wrong and what that statement even meant. I know it had only been 2 weeks, but I was crushed; this was the best first date I had ever had.

     I continued my journey at that church. I soon decided I wanted a Bible, so I went to Barnes and Noble and stood on that aisle looking at the variety of Bibles for about an hour and a ½. I started to get overwhelmed and just picked one and left. Even though David had ended things, I was still going to the church, and he was the only person I felt comfortable with reaching out to with questions about the Bible. He guided me on where would be a good place to start reading, and then when I didn’t understand the passage, or the study notes, I would reach out to him for explanations. After a few weeks with that Bible, I was introduced to the New Living Translation. I explained to David that my version was a little hard to understand and he went Bible shopping with me. Together we picked out what is now my favorite Bible, the NLT Life Applications Study Bible.

     I soon met another guy on the online dating site. He and I hit it off really well. We had a lot of fun with each other; he took to my son Mateo really fast, and it was a relationship in fast forward. He soon started coming to church with me, introduced me to his family, and after a few short months we were talking about moving in together. To me this wasn’t foreign; I didn’t see a problem with living together before you were married. After a few months had past, I gave my roommate notice that I would be moving out the following month. Of course both my roommate and my family tried to talk me out of it, but there was no changing my mind.

     That following Sunday I attended church by myself; for some reason the guy I was seeing was unable to come with me. At the end of the service, just like Pastor Larry did every Sunday, he had an Altar call. I remember standing there and praying and repeating everything he said to say if you wanted to accept Jesus into your life. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit for the first time. Pastor then suggests those that just accepted Jesus to come to the front so the Pastoral staff can pray with you, and when I went to walk to the front my legs went weak and I had to sit down on the pew. I couldn’t go up there, but I knew something happened. I was filled with so much happiness; I was crying my heart out, and had never felt anything like this before. After that day, my life was changed forever. I dated the same guy for about 2 more weeks, and then had to end it; I knew it wasn’t right in my heart, and that relationship was not what Jesus wanted for me.

     Since being saved, I no longer wanted to drink, cuss, have premarital sex, and definitely wasn’t going to move in with anyone without being married. The friend I was living with and the other friends I had been around the last 10 years noticed my changes. They asked me questions at first, and then they began to pick at little changes - reading the Bible each night instead of going out or watching TV, posting Scripture on my Facebook page instead of encouraging their partying and gossip, etc. One person even said to me, “Oh well why don’t you just beat me with a Bible.” I felt so unwelcome around them. I thought,“Aren’t my closest friends supposed to just be happy for me?” In reality, I changed overnight, and they had no idea what happened or why all of the sudden changes were taking place. I called my dad upset and knew I just had to get out of that living situation, so I moved in with a girlfriend from work. It was the perfect living arrangement for Mateo and I.

     David and I were still friends, and we decided to start going to a life group on Wednesday nights.  My birthday approached, and I had been talking to a guy for maybe two weeks. It wasn’t serious enough for him to plan something for my birthday, so I made plans for Saturday September 3rd with a past boyfriend to go to dinner, and then to a movie with David. Before the movie started, David started talking about relationships, trying to get a feel for how I felt about them and if I wanted one.

     Wednesday, September 6th, at 4:30 in the morning, I received an email from David sharing how he truly felt about me. When we started dating in September, we discussed premarital sex and agreed we would wait until we were married. This was very hard for both of us, as this wasn’t something either of us had ever done. We had a few slip ups, but we knew we couldn’t allow it to happen anymore, so we stayed strong.

     David proposed to me in my friends’ driveway under the beautiful full moon on Dec 10th 2011. Then, we were married March 18th 2012. Since the summer of 2011 so many things have drastically changed in my life. I do believe that God has blessed our family so much. We continue to grow everyday in both our Faith and our relationship together. I didn’t know I could ever be this happy. I live my life everyday to serve God, and I can’t wait to see where He will use me next.  

What makes you a good mom?

I used to think that because Mateo's nose wasn't dripping with snot when I dropped him off at daycare in the morning that this made me a good mom. But guess what? There was always snot dropping from his nose when I picked him up. I know ridiculous one might think. But us moms know we notice things like this.

I used to think that being a good mom was making sure my sons nails were kept clean and cut so he wouldn't scratch other kids. But guess what? There was always dirt under his nails when I picked him up. He would also find a way to scratch if he really wanted to.

I used to think that I had to get a cute costume to dress Mateo in for Halloween because that is what all moms did. Right? Well, now I have studied and understand the true root of Halloween and our family doesn't celebrate this holiday anymore.

I used to think that being a good mom meant that I wouldn't have to yell or spank. Uh.......
I failed in this area. I do try really hard not to yell, and with lots of prayer, God's grace, and my husband holding me accountable I am slowly changing.

To me, being a good mom is spoken of in Proverbs 31. I know this chapter is mostly about the Wife of Noble Character, but there are things about being a mother that really stand out. Listed below are a few of my favorite verses. I know I am no where close to being the woman described here, but with God's help my heart can be changed so I can be the mom that He created me to be.

She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. (Proverbs 31:15 NLT)

She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. (Proverbs 31:17-21 NLT)

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: (Proverbs 31:25-28 NLT)

I am learning what goes into being a mom. This will be a daily challenge for the rest of my life. Is there really such a thing as being a good mom? By whose standard are we saying that someone is a good mom? Being the mom God intended each of us to be is what we should strive for, not to be like or better than any other mom. There will be days of laughter, sadness, stress, weakness, love, brutal honesty, sarcasm, rolling of the eyes, death, and many more. Being a mom carries the responsibility of disciplining our children. Being a mom means we must forgive daily what the children did the day before. Being a mom means teaching our children that there is no love greater than the love of God. Seeing our children laugh and smile is God showing me I am doing something right. I love our children and love being a mom, and will never take this opportunity for granted.

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. (Psalms 127:3 NLT)

Moms, you are doing a great job! Whenever doubt creeps in, just pray.